My entry (click below to read) was selected as:
Best Zombie/Best Insinuation That Reading Young Adult Literature Is More Fun Than Our Actual Job, Which is Definitely True
Rob Zombie is the best Zombie.
I have to thank the Rejectionist for offering such an extremely awesome contest and send my overflowing praise to everyone who posted a letter because we all need something fun to read when we're working (or not working actually). Your combined creativity wasted at least ten hours of my normally monotonous work week, and I could not be more grateful.
Now I have to decide if I will ask the overworked support staff of "Steve" to review my query or first 5 while I daydream about the delicious treat that will soon grace my mailbox.