Thursday, August 11, 2016

Why I'm Almost a Vegetarian

Truth? I can't give up hot dogs. Which is the absolute worst meat out there, I know. You don't have to tell me the gory details. I do my best not to think about it as I bite into those savory meat tubes, usually slathered with cheese. Sometimes onions and peppers...so good.

Everyone thinks that's odd. But my reasons for not eating meat are not the usual ones. I do care about animals. But I also wear leather boots. I use sugar in my coffee. Eat eggs. Cheese. Seafood. I don't like to lecture people on what they should do. I don't like to put myself in boxes. I really don't eat meat because it grosses me out.

I live in fear of that chewy piece of cartilage you find in your chicken salad. The bit of grissle on the edge of a piece of steak. That string of fat that gets caught in your teeth. The rubbery ends of a strip of a bacon that take hours to chew. That smell of a raw turkey. The juice leaking off of it, filled with salmonella. When I cooked with meat, I would have to wipe down my entire kitchen with Clorox wipes and went to bed worrying about that one missed spot, teeming with the animated on the bacteria on the Lysol commercials. I would take a bite of my dinner wondering, "Did I cook this enough? Am I going to get sick?"

You don't have to worry about that with tofu. It doesn't matter if zucchini is under cooked. You can eat it raw. I love the taste of veggie burgers. Veggie sausage. Tempeh. I don't feel disgustingly full after gorging myself on a salad. But I kept thinking, "Why don't I just go all the way. Why can't I give it all up?"

Then I met a woman at a party who said, "My new philosophy? Do it ninety percent. It's better than nothing."

I don't know why I needed permission to hear that. I think because we like to put ourselves into little categories. "I am a vegetarian. I am a heterosexual. I am a web designer." It leaves little room for you to do anything else. You've categorized yourself. You're afraid someone will judge you for breaking out of the category, which they probably will, and so you start lying, hiding, or criticizing yourself for reaching beyond your self-imposed box.

That sucks.

You can't expand if you've closed yourself in a cage. You shouldn't have to feel guilty if you want a hot dog. Or want to change careers, Or fall in love with a woman instead of a man. Leave that open door. That 10% (or more) that allows you to do what you want.

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